In or out of the office: Lonely or happy?
Will they , won’t they!
It’s so confusing. Everyone has their point of view with so much wrapped up in cost per head, financial viability, “ but we’re paying X per square metre”, and of course competition snapping at your heels.
All are true and important but more so than ever before investing in peoples brain capital and health is, if not more, important than investing in technology - you still need those pesky humans for the important thinking, creativity, innovation, EI and direction.
This morning I read two recent Articles offering very different takes on remote and hybrid work. One suggests working from home makes us happier, citing years of research showing greater flexibility, less commuting, stress, and improved work–life balance.
Another warns remote work can silently erode connection, reducing trust, cohesion, and innovation while increasing loneliness.
Both perspectives are valid. What really matters is how we work best and how work is designed - it’s an individual perspective.
Younger workers (Gen Z and early Millennials): Surveys show under-35s are the loneliest cohort when fully remote. They report missing out on mentoring, role-model visibility, and the 'incidental learning' that happens through overheard conversations.
Parents and caregivers: For many, hybrid/remote is life changing. The removal of long commutes and the ability to blend professional and family responsibilities increases wellbeing and focus.
Older workers (55+): While some enjoy the autonomy, research shows older employees can suffer more from the loss of workplace social networks when working remotely.
The Neuroscience of Connection vs Isolation
Brains are social organs. Connection isn’t 'soft', it’s hardwired into our biology.
Connection and inclusion activate the parasympathetic nervous system (rest-and-digest), improving heart rate, variability, recovery, and resilience. They trigger the release of oxytocin (bonding and trust), endorphins (social bonding through laughter and shared experience), and dopamine in the ventral.
striatum (reward network).
Belonging also recruits the default mode network and strengthens integration between prefrontal and limbic regions, supporting empathy, perspective-taking, and creativity.
By contrast, loneliness has measurable biological costs: elevated cortisol, greater activity in the anterior insula and dorsal anterior cingulate cortex (pain and salience networks), and narrowed attention with reduced openness and impaired problem-solving.
What This Means for Leaders
Leaders can’t treat connection as an 'extra.' It’s critical infrastructure. Designing for belonging and trust is now a strategic imperative.
1. Embed rituals and rhythms - onboarding buddies, shared
stories, team 'wins & fails' sessions.
2. Design collaboration for trust - intentional project kick offs, cross-functional rotations, and time for human connection.
3. Model humanity - leaders who share challenges and ask simple check-ins ('What’s giving you energy?') reduce stigma and normalise connection.
4. Operationalise belonging- build it into systems: recognition, performance reviews, onboarding milestones.
5. Check your own connection - senior leaders are not immune. Isolation at
the top cascades down.
My Take
Remote work can increase happiness and fuel disconnection at the same time. The outcome depends on life stage, career stage, and the intentional design of connection.
Connection is not a 'nice to have', it shapes the nervous system, brain chemistry, and organisational outcomes. Leaders who understand this will create workplaces where people don’t just show up but thrive.
